How to celebrate Christmas with a loved one in a care home

If you have a family member living in a care home, celebrating Christmas with them can be challenging.You may wonder how often you can make a care home visit. Here, we have put together a few different things you can do to celebrate Christmas, or any holidays, with a loved one in a care home.

Talk to staff at the care home

If you’re worried about how to approach Christmas in a care home, talking to staff will help you plan how to celebrate Christmas with your loved one.

You could ask staff things like:

• What is the care home doing in the run up to Christmas?
• How will Christmas Day be celebrated at the care home?
• What days or times is best for visiting the care home?

If your loved one is new to their care home, you could also let staff know of anything particular that you think they would enjoy during Christmas, e.g. favourite foods or family traditions.

Remember care home staff are also there to help. Staff working in a care home would have spent many Christmases making the season enjoyable for residents and guiding families through the difficult moments too. Never be afraid to ask questions or share your worries.

Find out what’s happening this Christmas in care home

Although maybe not the same as being at home, Christmas in a care home won’t be doom and gloom. There’ll likely be many different things that residents and their family and friends can get involved with.

For example, care homes might celebrate by:

• Hosting Christmas themed activities like arts & crafts, baking or making gifts.
• Inviting entertainment to the home – such as tribute singers or nativity performances from local schools.
• Planning trips out – for example to see the Christmas decorations at the local garden centre or attending religious services.
• Decorating! Care homes like to deck the halls with the best of us. Communal areas will usually be adorned with all the typical decorations and residents can also bedeck their own bedrooms if they want to – you could even plan to do this together (just make sure to double check that everything is safe to be there).

As well as giving you plenty of opportunity to spend time with your loved one during the holidays, finding out what the care home has planned could give you the chance to plan your care home visits outside of this time.

Care home Christmas visits – Visit as often as you want

When a loved one is in a care home, it’s normal to feel guilty for not being there as often as you feel like you should be. Of course, the best way to alleviate these feelings is to make a care home visit as often as you can. But even with all the time in the world, it can be difficult to work out the logistics of this. How often should you make a care home visit? Should you be there on Christmas Day? Will being there too often make it more upsetting more when you leave?

Can you make a care home visit on Christmas Day?

Most care homes will be happy to accept visitors on Christmas Day. There will likely be a general plan in place for the day, including what time dinner will be served. Whether you want to pop in quickly or spend the majority of the day with your loved one, staff will be happy to accommodate you.

If you do want to visit on Christmas Day, try to plan around what will work best for your loved one. For example, if they’re living with dementia, they may experience good days and bad days. If Christmas Day happens to be a day when their symptoms are worse, it’s a good idea to have a plan B, perhaps a shorter visit than planned or moving it to a time in the day where they feel more relaxed.

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Care UK suggests that for people living with dementia, ‘little and often’ could be a good approach to visits. So if you live close by, consider factoring in more regular but shorter visits. This could ease the pressure you feel to spend as much time as you can with your loved one, whilst also avoiding you feeling distracted with all the other things you need to do during your time together.

If you’re not local, you could plan one in-person visit and schedule a few video calls throughout the Christmas period. This will also help to alleviate any pressure you may be feeling to visit, whilst guaranteeing some time together.

Remember that it’s completely up to you when and how often you visit your loved one. Care homes will want to make Christmas as special as possible for every resident, and having friends and family around is a big part of this, so they’ll be more than happy to accommodate you whenever you are able to make it.

Can my loved one leave care home at Christmas?

Whether or not your loved one can spend time outside of their care home will depend on their specific needs. For example, if they receive more specialist care, it might be more challenging for the team who care for them to arrange to do this safely.

If possible, try to speak to staff well in advance to find out what your options are. This way they’ll be able to work with you and your loved one to find the best solution. For example, if a full day isn’t an option, the care home might be able to make provision for a morning or afternoon out instead.  

Don’t put pressure on yourself

Christmas is a busy time for many people. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself when it comes to celebrating the Christmas season with a loved one in a care home.

If possible:

• Try to plan any visits realistically. Promising yourself that you’ll visit more often than you are actually able to will only make you feel more guilty when you can’t make it.
• Consider arranging visits around other things you would like to do. You shouldn’t feel guilty for enjoying your Christmas too, and it will benefit your loved one to have you visit in good spirits, rather than distracted by other things you need to do.
• Make the most of how things are now. Although Christmas may look different now that your loved one is in a care home, accepting the situation as it is will allow you to enjoy the time you have together.

And remember, Christmas is just one day of the year. It’s completely up to you how and whether you embrace the festivities.