How often should you visit someone in a care home?

If your loved one is living in a residential setting, you may be worried about how often you should visit someone in a care home.

Although there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to care home visiting, understanding the benefits of visiting and how to maximise the time you do spend with the person can help to ease those moments of worry.

Benefits of visiting someone in a care home

Visiting a family member or friend in a care home has many advantages, for both you and your loved one.

Nicola Brown, Home Manager at Four Seasons Health Care’s Campsie View Care Home in Glasgow, said:

“Visiting residents in care homes is crucial for their emotional well-being and mental health. It helps combat feelings of loneliness and isolation, promotes meaningful connections and provides opportunities for social interaction and stimulation.

“Family members are usually involved in care planning and decision making and this partnership with the care team enhances the provision of individualised care. Regular family visits improve communication with the care team and contribute to the resident’s overall happiness and sense of belonging, improving their overall quality of life.”

Why you should visit someone in a care home

• Helps the person settle in and feel secure – moving to a care home can be unsettling, especially during the first few weeks. Regular visits will help to make sure your loved one knows you’re around and will hopefully reduce any feelings of isolation or abandonment.

• Promotes relationships – whether it’s your partner, a sibling, a parent or even a friend living in a residential setting, maintaining a positive relationship can be challenging. As well as spending less time together, there may be other factors at play, for example, they may be confused or resentful, or you may feel guilty about the situation. Spending time together in your loved one’s new home will give you chance to nurture your relationship and adjust to the new situation.

• Provides peace of mind – you may be worried about the type of care your loved one is receiving, especially if you were previously caring for them yourselves. Spending time at the care home with them and getting to know staff will reassure you that they’re being well cared for, as well as making it easier to address any problems should they arise.

• Helps staff get to know residents better – it’s not uncommon for people who move to a care home to be distant with staff; they may believe they’re bothering them or might just not be ready to open up to new people. Having loved ones around can encourage positive interactions, giving staff the chance to get a better idea of the background of the people they care for and in turn, better tailor their care provision and lifestyle to suit them.

Tips for visiting

If your loved one has only recently moved to a care home, the initial settling in period may be challenging. They’ll be getting to know their new home and you’ll be both be adjusting to the new situation. During this time, it may be a good idea to plan a temporary visiting schedule.

Helps with transition

If you were previously caring for your loved one, you might start off by visiting regularly if it’s possible to do so. This will help both of you to ease into the new arrangement. Once your loved one is more settled, you could then start to reduce your visits to better fit around your other commitments, such as work or children. 

Another benefit of visiting during the transition period is the support from other people in the same situation. Speaking about this transition, Ms Brown says:

“Having a loved one move into a care home can be a difficult and emotional time for everyone and talking to people who are going through the same experience can be a real support. It’s great to see people from different families getting to know each other.

“Our care home is made up of its own little community; residents, team members, family, friends and other regular visitors including health care professionals, favourite entertainers and even an alpaca or two!”

Set a routine for visits

Once your loved one has adjusted to their new home, setting a routine for visits can be really beneficial for everyone.

• Having a set visiting schedule will help to alleviate the pressure you feel to visit your loved one in every spare moment you have.
• Care home staff will be aware of your schedule, which could help to reassure your loved one if they’re missing you or forget the plans you’ve discussed.
• Scheduling visits around your other commitments will ensure the time you do spend together isn’t rushed or spent worrying about the other things you need to do.

Avoid triggering times

Despite offering plenty of activities events and activities to get involved with, at their heart, care homes are a care setting. This means that at certain points of the day, care provision will take priority to ensure that residents are safe and have their needs met. Although it doesn’t happen often, this can affect when will be a suitable time for visiting.

When is best to visit someone in a care home?

• Mealtimes are often ‘protected’ – this means that a care home will request no visitors during this time (unless other arrangements have been made, such as a private meal) to allow care staff to serve and assist residents with their food without distractions or disruptions.
• Evening visits may be more challenging than other times of the day as residents become more tired and agitated. This can be especially prevalent for people living with dementia.

Keep in touch outside of face-to-face visits

The pandemic was a huge challenge for care homes across the UK, but it did highlight the benefits of alternative methods of keeping in touch.

Video calls are now an everyday part of life at residential settings, helping to maintain connections between loved ones no matter the distance or circumstances.

For many people, especially those living with dementia, video calls are preferable to phone calls as they are able to see your face and interpret your body language, helping to avoid any miscommunication or distress.

Be prepared to reschedule

Some days just don’t go to plan. If your loved one is living with an unpredictable condition such as dementia, they’ll likely have days where they feel especially distressed, whereas other times they may just not be in the mood to welcome visitors. On these days, it’s usually best to cut short a visit to avoid heightening any emotions for the both of you and reschedule your visit to another day.

Remember that your visiting schedule doesn’t dictate your love for the person. Care home staff won’t be making judgements, and you should plan your visits in a way that works best for you and your loved one.

Get involved in life at the care home

Despite common perception, care homes are often lively settings with many things going on and a lot of residents thrive when they immerse themselves in the lifestyle.

Ms Brown explains, “We encourage loved ones to maintain regular visits and they are always welcome to get involved with our programme of Magic Moments activities, our Four Seasons Feel Good Club get-togethers and community and celebratory events. Whether it’s a visit from children at a local school, a painting or baking session, an exercise or singing class or a party to celebrate a special occasion like a birthday, we love having a home full of people that mean the world to our residents.

“We offer visitors access to a ‘family and friends’ section of our ‘Magic Moments Portal’. This provides lots of opportunities to reminisce about past films and music as well as providing conversation starters and activities for residents to do with visiting grandchildren.”

Engage with activities and events during visits

• Boosting your loved one’s confidence if they feel hesitant about getting involved
• Promoting positive engagement with staff and other residents
• Encouraging your loved one to live a more fulfilled life
• Giving you a focus during your time together
• Reassuring you that they are happy and have opportunities to do things they enjoy

Reflecting on the importance of visiting a loved one, Ms Brown comments: 

“Just because someone moves into a care home doesn’t mean they have to stop doing the things they enjoy, in fact it’s often an opportunity to discover a new interest. Being able to share what you’ve been up to and catch up with news from visitors over a cuppa is one of life’s greatest pleasures and affirms that residents are still an integral part of the family or friendship group.”