Care system overlooks Britons living abroad

Expats finding a care home for a loved one from abroad face considerable emotional stress, according to age specialist and cognitive neuroscientist Dr Lynda Shaw.

Dr Shaw’s experience with clients has led to her highlight what she sees as a lack of service coordination in desperate need of more transparency, with the stress of organising care for a loved one currently a threat to an individual’s mental stability.

She explains: “The pressure of organising a care home for a loved one from abroad can be an incredibly stressful experience. Choosing the right care home for your loved one can be a daunting process at the best of times, not least because we want to ensure the level of care they receive is deservedly of the highest standard for their personal and medical needs but which also meets our budget. The pressure is of course heightened should you be living abroad. You might also have to be dealing with a difficult diagnosis so it’s a tornado of emotions.”

According to Dr Shaw, the complex logistics of the situation make an already difficult situation worse. She continues: “If you are an expat you may only be able to come over to the UK for a few days or weeks and need an organised way to find the right care home and possibly treatment for your parent. At the moment it’s a mammoth task, both organisationally and emotionally. What is needed is coordinated and experienced, expert guidance, so that those living abroad have practical and emotional support that smooth’s those difficult transitions easily and efficiently.

“There are companies which help expats find the perfect residence for their elderly parent but there is so much to consider from all the administration and paperwork involved, to settling on an affordable financial plan for more long-term patients, it is often overwhelming. Even if you are able to afford private care homes, often social services need to be involved but may not be able to move at the speed you need them to as an expat.”

On the emotional toil Dr Shaw comments: “Many of us have feelings of guilt that consume us when we can’t look after our parents in our own home. When the parent has dementia or Alzheimer’s Disease, the distance may leave the children feeling powerless, unsure of whom to trust. When we feel out of control the stress hormone cortisol takes its toll, exacerbated by an enormous rollercoaster of emotions, including guilt and anxiety. Since cortisol affects neurotransmitters, it means that we find it hard to concentrate, feel motivated or even sleep and eat properly, and are therefore not functioning well when we need to be at our most alert!”

Having provided advice on how to make the best out of long-distance relationships, Dr Shaw recommends the use of Skype to stay in touch with loved ones in place of excessive travel, seeing happy long-distance relationships as entirely achievable in the modern world.