One-sixth of over 65’s hiding a serious illness or injury from relatives

One in six people over the age 65 may have hidden a serious illness, injury or accident from people close to them in the past five years.

Two thirds wanted to prevent loved ones from worrying and 12 per cent feared being seen as unable to look after themselves. Half of people wanted to avoid family members over-reacting and 11 per cent said they had hidden injuries or accidents because they feared going into hospital.

The survey of 2,000 people aged between 65 and 93, carried out by support and care provider Centra, also revealed a fifth of people feared being seen as a burden to friends and family as they grow older.

Centra, formerly Invicta telecare, has launched a free online guide to help family and friends talk to older relatives about their care needs which has been backed by This Morning presenter Ruth Langsford.

Ms Langsford said: “I’ve come up against some serious barriers when it comes to talking with my own parents about their wellbeing as they got older. My mum is a fiercely independent 83-year-old but she lives alone now. We constantly worry that she is covering up problems and concerns so that we don’t see her as a burden.

“It became clear that mum found it difficult to ask for help when my father developed Alzheimer’s disease. There was nothing we could do or say to get her to admit she might need some more support. She once admitted to sitting with him all night when he had a fall until they could get help from a neighbour in the morning, because she didn’t want worry her own family.

“It’s important to make sure your parents get the right support as they grow older. But it’s very hard to know when to bring up the subject and it can lead to some difficult conversations. The situation can become even more upsetting if you live further away or are busy at work or caring for children or grandchildren.

“I understand now how important it is to get right type of support, advice and information so that you are fully prepared to face up to any potential problems as a family.”

It was also revealed less than a third of people surveyed have had a discussion about the type of care they would like and two thirds hadn’t thought seriously about their options in the last five years.

Wendy Darling, managing director of Centra Pulse, an independant provider of telecare, said: “We need to do more to support older people at risk of covering up potentially serious problems. There is a stigma that sometimes comes with growing older and it’s clear this can stop people from facing up to the help they could get. Many older people say they find it difficult to be thought of as a burden or incapable by others when they start to suffer problems at home so find it difficult to open up to those closest to them.

“Too many families will only start talking about care after some sort of crisis has already happened. It shouldn’t be treated as a last resort. That's why we're calling on families to talk more openly and honestly about potential problems and the help out there. People don’t know enough about how the right kind of care and technology, like a personal alarm, can give control of someone’s freedom and wellbeing.”

However when asked who they would choose to talk to about their care options, nearly two thirds said they would go to their own children. Approaching their son or daughters to talk about their care needs ranked higher than their partner, a doctor or a friend.