Daughter reveals why she put her mum in a care home

Carolyn Knight was working long hours in her job and caring for her mum, but after her 97-year-old mum had a fall and lay on the floor for 16 hours before anyone found her, she was forced to make a very difficult decision.

Her mother, Marlin Ferguson, was admitted to hospital as she had seriously injured her leg. In hospital, she was told she needed long-term nursing care and Carolyn started looking for a care home.

“Mum was initially upset as the decision was out of our hands and she had no idea that when she went to hospital that day she would never return home. But very quickly she said it was the best thing that could have happened because she couldn’t have carried on how she was," reveals Carolyn.

It had been an anxious time for Carolyn, who says: “Every time I showered her there were more bruises from where she had bumped into things. She had spilt boiling water from the kettle and things like that were worrying her, even though she wanted to keep her independence.” Marlin was also becoming increasingly unsteady on her feet but was desperate to stay in her own home.

Carolyn worried, in particular about something happening to Marlin at night and said: “I was very anxious leaving her. When I phoned at night she still could have put the phone down and then had an accident and hurt herself and I wouldn’t know if something had happened.”

One morning someone was delivering Christmas cards and heard Marlin calling for help, she was lying on the floor of her apartment and had been there for 16 hours. She had been unable to raise the alarm after falling because the pendant she wore around her neck to summon help in an emergency was on the sofa.

After her hospital stay, Marlin moved into Sanctuary Care’s Watlington & District Residential and Nursing Home in Oxfordshire.

Carolyn says: “For me it was the peace of mind and sense of relief, because I now I knew that she was safe.”

She also went back from being a carer to being a daughter again.

She says: “It is a totally relaxing situation because I know she is being cared for, she is enjoying the company, the food and the activities. It is also great because I can join her when she goes on trips or we can just sit and chat. Now it is ‘our time’ again. Joining her when she goes out and seeing the pleasure she gets, it makes me quite tearful because we are able to do things now that I couldn’t have done with her before.”

Marlin agrees: “I feel very relaxed – you can’t be unhappy here. It’s the friendliness of everyone – and I love having my hair done every Friday. It makes me feel like I am going to Buckingham Palace,” she says.

Care home manager Julie Cooper reveals: “It is really heart-warming to see Marlin and Carolyn spending quality time together and being able to enjoy so many special moments. We actually managed to take them both to Buckingham Palace for real, with a very special trip in Watlington’s minibus. This was a really wonderful time for them both and one of those memories that will always be very special.”

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