'I put milk in the washing machine' confesses woman with dementia

The public is being urged to start a conversation with someone who has dementia, this #DAW2019 Dementia Action Week (20-26 May), even if it prompts unexpected responses like “I put milk in the washing machine”.

This week, #DAW2019 events have been planned across the UK to get people talking. To inspire new conversations, the charity Alzheimer’s Society has launched its #AskUsAnything film clip featuring small children interviewing those with dementia.

“Do you sometimes do silly things”, a little boy asks a woman prompting her to respond: “I put milk in the washing machine”.

Another child asks a man living with dementia: “Who looks after you?” To which the man replies “My wife Vivienne. The boss.”

A poignant statement comes from a woman, as she tells a child matter-of-factly: “I know that one day I’m going to wake up and not know who anyone is.”

The Alzheimer’s Society stated: “We know it can be hard to find the right words to say when someone you know is diagnosed with dementia. And sometimes it feels easier to say nothing at all. But staying connected is so important, for everyone.”

John, who has dementia and appeared in the #AskUsAnything video, said: “I love it when people ask me questions because I feel included. It gives me an opportunity to show that people with dementia exist, that we can still contribute to what’s going on around us and that life goes on. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel like me again.”

Up and down the UK, Dementia Action Week events are being hosted this week to help everyone understand dementia more and start conversations.

During #DAW2019, Reading’s St Lukes Residential Home is inviting the public to chat with residents living with dementia on 21 May at 11am.

The Southampton Dementia Festival takes place on 25 May at 12 noon. It will inform the public about how dementia affects a person and what little, easy things you can do every day to really make a difference to those living with dementia.

Local farmers in rural communities will also get the chance to hear more about dementia on 24 May at 11am at Northern Ireland’s Drapertown Livestock Market in Magherafelt.

Businesses are also getting involved this week with Santander donating £1 to the charity for each of the first 40,000 Santander cycles hired at London’s Regents Place on 20 May. The cycles also got a DAW makeover to highlight DAW2019.

To get involved this #DAW2019 attend a DAW event near you by clicking on the map here to find an event near you.

For those of you wondering how to start a conversation, the charity has come up with some top tips created with help from people with dementia.

Tips to help all start a conversation

Those with dementia have this advice for people:

• Talk to me, smile, be a little patient and give me time to reply.

• Say hello, ask about the weather... anything that you feel comfortable with.

• Be yourself. We will make mistakes but it’s ok to laugh along with us.

• Just don’t ask if I remember. While it can be tempting to try and jog the memory of somebody living with dementia, this kind of question is often a reminder of memories lost. This can be a frustrating or painful experience.

• Keep sentences short. Long, complex sentences can be tricky to grasp as its difficult to process several ideas at once as cognitive abilities slow down.

• Don’t be afraid. All it takes is a conversation to see 'we’re still us'.

For more tips read the charity’s #AskUsAnything leaflet by clicking here.