Three families reveal why they put their loved ones in a care home during the pandemic

Families have been sharing why they put their relatives in a care home during the pandemic, despite many homes being affected by coronavirus and locked down for most of this year with restrictions on visitors.

Vivienne aged 82 has never been apart from her husband in nearly 60 years. However after caring for her for a decade due to her having Alzheimer’s disease, he took the difficult decision in September to put her in a care home in North London.

He said: “For years, I was able to look after her myself at home, with support from a carer for the past 18 months.

“A couple of weeks before the first lockdown, we decided we had to stop the carer and all other outside contact to protect Vivienne, given the spread of the virus. The following months of isolation coincided with Vivienne’s more dramatic deterioration, such that the full responsibility for her care, day and night, was becoming difficult.

"Finally in June, Vivienne had an acute severe episode of what may have been biliary colic, and was hospitalised. That was when we knew that my full-time carer role was sadly becoming unsustainable, and the need to consider a care home became a reality.”

He decided to put her in Compton Lodge care home in Swiss Cottage, Camden, saying “I knew it would be the greatest wrench for Vivienne and me to be separated for the first time since we met at medical school in our late teens”.

Vivienne quickly gelled with the staff, with some of them calling her ‘Dr Vivienne’, which has had a positive effect on her, giving her a sense of her identity. She is also very artistic, and so took her pens and drawing pads into the home, which helps her focus and concentrate.

'We've been put at ease by the connection between Vivienne and the staff'

He admits he was worried about the safety of care homes during the pandemic, but said: “We’ve been put at ease by the connection between Vivienne and the staff. We have confidence in the home, and all the managers and carers we have met have been loving and warm, and professional, operating as best they can within the confines of Covid restrictions. It’s made a huge difference to Vivienne settling in that we have been able to visit her regularly in the garden, and it has been a joy for us to see how happy she has been.”

Lucy Clark moved her uncle, 85 year old Nigel Service, into Rathmore House care home, Swiss Cottage, in June.

For the last four years, Nigel Service had been living at home with home care workers cooking him meals. When lockdown happened, Lucy Clark moved to his home to look after him.

It proved very challenging as Ms Clark revealed: “Uncle Nigel has Alzheimers – he often forgets things, and didn’t really understand why he wasn’t allowed out during lockdown. He had become paranoid and angry at me, as he thought I had made up the rules.

“When we moved him in June, Uncle Nigel was quite relieved, which was a blessing to us.

“I have felt extremely confident that the care home has managed Covid-19 well. There was one instance where someone had a temperature for a while (not Covid-19, as it turned out) during the early lockdown, and Rathmore protected its resident, isolating and testing them while continuing to give them support.”

'No credit has been given to homes which looked after residents really well during pandemic'

She added: “I know there have been some well-documented care home ‘horror stories’ during Covid-19, and of course those need to be talked about. But no credit has been given to the hundreds of homes which have looked after residents really well over the pandemic. That hasn’t been properly celebrated. The carers are incredible people. It’s comforting for me to know that my uncle is now there with my mum, in a controlled and safe environment.”

Jean, 87, moved from her home in Ham, where she had lived for over 50 years, into Cecil Court care home in Kew in early September. Her daughter Julia says that the move was made “with great regret”, but she felt it was the best thing for her wellbeing.

“The onset of our mother’s dementia started back in 2002. She coped pretty well with it in general, and had lived alone since our father’s death nine years ago.

“In 2018, she had a serious fall down the stairs, which left her with serious mobility issues. Since then, her dementia and mobility has gradually deteriorated. At the end of March this year, she was found on the floor by her carer. As a family, we worked in shifts together with the private carers to provide 24-hour care. This was not sustainable so looking for a home became a priority.”

The pandemic prevented them from looking around Cecil Court in person, but they were face-timed by the staff so they could see the facilities.

“It’s not the same as us viewing it ourselves, but it allowed us to get a feel for and see inside the place.

“She’s quickly made friends at the home, and likes the staff, and overall is coping really well. She is enjoying the food and looks clean and smart. We now communicate regularly via Facetime calls which is great because we get to see inside and what she is up to.

'Despite restrictions Mum is now in the right place'

“We’d love to see the inside of the home in person, but we appreciate the difficult situation with Covid-19 at the moment. Despite the restrictions, Mum is now in the right place. Most importantly she seems very content and in good company.”

• Central & Cecil (C&C) operates four care homes in London – Compton Lodge and Rathmore House in Swiss Cottage, Cecil Court in Kew, and Homemead in Teddington. Their homes are open to new residents, and they are running a special introductory offer for new residents, providing the first two weeks of their stay free of charge. This offer runs until Sunday 13 December 2020.

click here for more details or to contact C&C