A year on: Families remember those who died of Covid in Britain's care homes

Families of those who died in care homes in the last year remembered the lives lost to Covid-19 by sharing their stories ahead of the National Day of Reflection.

Over 40,000 care home residents in England and Wales have Covid-19 recorded on their death certificate since the pandemic began.

As the country remembers lives lost with a National Day of Reflection to mark the first anniversary of the UK's first national lockdown, relatives of Royal Star & Garter care home residents spoke of their grief at losing a loved one to the deadly virus.

The daughters of WWII veteran Betty Dawson and Cora Young who died at the Surbiton Home run by Royal Star & Garter in April and May last year, discussed their mothers’ final days.

Betty Dawson aged 97 served in the Women's Auxiliary Air Force (WAAF) between 1942-1945 and was known to her granddaughters as ‘Supergran’. She died at Royal Star & Garter in Surbiton Home in April last year.

Her daughter Pauline Dain said: “Nobody wants to put their mum into a home if I’m honest, but it was amazing. It gives you your relationship with your parent back. Instead of being her carer, I could be Mum’s daughter again.

'We were outside the home to say goodbye to Mum'

“I last visited mum on 13 March. A few days later the home had to close its doors (due to Covid-19) and she died on 8 April. She had a respiratory condition and issues with her chest. We used to have window visits and speak over the phone, but these were very stressful and distressing for both my mum and me. I could see she was deteriorating.

“I got to sit with her in her room the day before she died, on 7 April. I think she knew I was there.

“She died at around 6.30pm, and that evening staff called to say the funeral directors would be coming that night, if we wanted to be in the car park. So at 2am we were outside the home to say goodbye to Mum. I’m grateful we were able to do that.

“You’re never ready to say goodbye to your mum, and not being with her as a family when she died was incredibly hard. We have to hang on to fact that as a family we have been fortunate. Mum has a new great grandchild who was born after she died, and the baby is flourishing.”

Cora Young first came to Royal Star & Garter - Surbiton care home for respite care in 2013, before becoming a permanent resident. She died in April 2020, aged 95. Her daughter, Margaret Clements says her mum “could cope with anything that came her way.”

Born in 1924 in Northern Ireland, she grew up in Belfast and became a PE teacher with a life-long love of rugby. She moved into the care home in 2018.

Margaret Clements said: “I would visit twice a week. Mum died in late April 2020. She just stopped eating. She was living with dementia and her memory and general health were not great. I honestly don’t know if she had Covid or not. I know staff suspected she did.

“It would have been a difficult year for her without having visitors and seeing her family. When we knew she was dying, (Nurse) Jude called me on a Sunday to come in. I was in full PPE. She was aware I was there and talked to me.”

Seven residents died at the Surbiton Home in April and May 2020. Some of these residents had Covid-19 listed on their death certificate.

The Surbiton Home is one of three care homes run by the Royal Star & Garter, a charity caring for veterans and their partners living with disability or dementia. A cherry blossom tree will be planted in the charity’s care homes on the National Day of Reflection to serve as a living memorial for residents and staff.

Hearts and ribbons form sea of yellow at Welsh care homes

Care homes in Wales have turned their care home grounds into a sea of yellow in honour of those who died of Covid-19.

Bright yellow hearts have appeared in the windows of Pendine Park Care Organisation’s seven care homes in Wrexham which are remembering Covid victims by taking part in Light up Wales to Remember event on 23 March.

People across Wales are encouraged to light up the country on 23 March by lighting a candle or displaying yellow fairy lights in their windows.

The care homes’ windows are decorated with fairy lights and yellow hearts made by residents and the trees in the grounds of two care homes have been covered in yellow ribbons.

Reminiscent of the old tune ‘Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree’, the colourful array of yellow ribbons will adorn the trees grounds for the anniversary.

The care group's artist in residence Sarah Edwards has been helping residents create yellow hearts to hang in the windows and yellow ribbons to tie in the trees.

'Our grief is still very raw'

Sarah Edwards said: "The residents have enjoyed being involved and having a positive role in creating something that remembers those who have lost their lives. There is a great deal of sadness about what has happened in the past year. If this does become an annual event then we would happily do things to help mark it again in the future.

“Creating the hearts seemed a fitting commemoration to remember all who have died. Although it is a sad occasion, we hope the use of yellow will symbolise there are brighter times ahead.”

Care homes will join people across the UK to fall silent at noon on 23 March in honour of all who have died from Covid.

Suzanne Hulmes is a member of the Facebook group Covid-19 Families Wales, which is helping to organise commemorations and acts as a support group for bereaved relatives of Covid victims.

Suzanne Hulmes said: "Coronavirus has had a huge impact on nursing homes and care homes across Wales. The carers have done all they can, but it will have been very difficult for the families not to have the usual access to their relatives in the homes. Our grief is still very raw."

A minute’s silence will be held across the UK at 12 pm on 23 March followed by a bell toll and people are being encouraged to stand on their doorsteps at 8pm with phones, candles and torches to signify a sign of remembrance.

Vic Rayner, chief executive of the National Care Forum said: “Sorrow lays heavy on us all as we head to this anniversary of a year since the first national lockdown; a year where so many have lost loved ones, friends, colleagues ...a year when so many have not been able to enjoy the very human connections – of touch, kiss, love, hugs and affection.

"As we reflect and remember, let us also take a moment to reflect on light and hope in a time dominated by sorrow and darkness.”

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