Care home resident with terminal cancer marries partner who says 'he's my soulmate'

A Derbyshire care home resident with terminal lung cancer has married his partner of 18 years after a special marriage licence was granted by the Archbishop of Canterbury.

Jeff Thomas, aged 72, was diagnosed with incurable lung cancer in 2019 and chose to move into Abbeydale for end-of-life care in September 2020 to take away the pressure of his partner Pauline Murray looking after him at home.

Celebrating 18 years together Mr Thomas decided the time was right to propose to Ms Murray in March this year.

Getting married was something Ms Murray said she had put off doing, but after Mr Thomas went into the home Ms Murray said: "I realised how much I loved him.

"I never thought I'd have another soul mate after Jack, but he is my soul mate. I trust him and he's everything to me. He's a beautiful man.”

Mr and Mrs Thomas first met on a blind date in a pub nearly 20 years ago after the death of Ms Thomas’ first husband.

Rev. Peter Barham of St. Edmund's Church and St. Matthews Church, who applied for the permission, performed the ceremony at the care home on 21 April, with a small number of close family members.

Rev. Derek Honour from St. Barnabas Church also gave a blessing during the service.

'I just want him for a bit longer if I can'

After the wedding ceremony, they said they look forward to enjoying as much time together as possible.

Mr Thomas said: "I think it's a nice sensation to be actually married. I just love her and adore her."

The new Mrs Thomas said it had been "a magical day. It's nice to know I've got his name. We've loved each other like [a married couple] from the beginning.

"I just want him for a bit longer if I can."

In preparation for the wedding, staff from Abbeydale spent every spare moment transforming the conservatory into a beautiful wedding room making sure it was special for the couple.

The staff made chair and table covers with detailed ribbons, curtain ties and paper crepe pompoms. They also organised local suppliers and businesses to supply the wedding cake, balloons and flowers for the celebration.

Karen Jenkinson registered nurse manager of Abbeydale, and Stanley House Nursing Homes said: “We’ve never done anything like this before, but we were definitely going to do our utmost to help Jeff and Pauline have a wedding day to remember."

Due to the Covid-19 pandemic, the care home had to form a plan and risk assessment that met with current safety guidelines.

Ms Jenkinson said: “Our aim was to ensure we could achieve Jeff’s End-of-Life aspiration to marry Pauline. We were determined to include all of the things you would associate with a traditional wedding while including those extra special touches that made it personal to the lovely couple, including a ‘stag do’ for the groom.

“With the support of donations from suppliers and local businesses, and the creativity and hard work of our staff, the day was amazing, a very positive uplifting occasion for all after such a difficult year.

“We think we might have enjoyed the day as much as the bride and groom did, and we wish them every happiness as husband and wife.”

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